Upon my first viewing of the Geostorm trailer I was left with the inkling that it was going to be a horrible disaster film. Even the title of the film provided me with laughter due to how generic and ridiculous it sounds. Despite this when I sat down in my seat ready to watch this film, all I was hoping for was an enjoyable time and if it was going to be bad, then I was hoping it would be so bad that it was good.
This film follows Jake (Gerard Butler) the man responsible for creating Dutch Boy, a network of satellites designed to control and prevent weather disasters. When malfunctions start to occur that create dangerous weather accidents, It’s up to Jake and his brother Max (Jim Sturgess) to identify whether it’s a accident or an act of malice, by somebody trying to weaponise the Dutch Boy for their own personal gain.
I’ll get straight to the point here, Geostorm is tough to sit through. About half an hour into the film my hopes of watching an entertaining disaster film, that was just some dumb fun had evaporated. The film takes itself far too seriously to be guilty pleasure entertainment. The script is as poor as you’d expect it to be, and the plot is a convoluted mess, that attempts to serve up a couple narrative twists that ended up defining the word, predictable.
The performances were once again, like the dialogue, as bad as you’d expect. Gerard Butler as a satellite designing former space station commander, nope I don’t buy that for one second. The thing is the film didn’t really need to get me to buy into that for it to work. What I think would’ve made this film more fun is if Gerard played a semi superhero, in amongst these storm scenarios trying to survive and save others. The poster of him holding his daughter whilst looking at an incoming tidal wave, made me think that was what I was going to get, but that’s disappointingly not the case. He pretty much spends the whole of the film up in space completely far removed from all the madness and destruction occurring on earth. There’s an attempt to develop the relationship he has with his brother played by Jim Sturgess and whilst I commend the effort, It absolutely doesn’t work. I found Jim’s performance to be rather bad and in actual fact it began to irritate me. Elsewhere Ed Harris shows up for a quick paycheque as the U.S. Secretary of State and Abbie Cornish also appears as a U.S. Secret Service Agent and the love interest of Max. She along with a couple of the cast members had a few one liners to deliver, and those lines were written and delivered in the type of way that made me want to throw up in my mouth a little.
I have a question to ask, What’s worse than a bloated overly serious disaster flick that feels like it belongs in the 90’s? Here’s the answer, a bloated overly serious disaster flick that feels like it belongs in the 90’s that doesn’t actually focus on the disasters. I can’t recommend this film to anybody because it’s so bad, but not the fun type of bad. But I also can’t recommend this film to anyone, because it still manages to somehow fail to deliver the one thing people will buy a ticket for, the weather disasters. These sequences at most take up approximately ten minutes of the films run time, the other hour and forty minutes is filled with wooden dialogue and a stale plot. This is a disaster film that doesn’t focus on the disasters, it’s ludicrous. If you want to see some carnage befall some major cities then just watch the trailer, because the whole film itself doesn’t offer up anything different to what you see in the trailer and I mean that in a literal sense. Take all the disaster sequences in the trailer and maybe add an extra thirty seconds to them, and that’s the extent of the extra footage that wasn’t in the trailers.
The visuals effects were serviceable at best, the budget of the film reportedly sits at $120 million. They certainly don’t look as good as they should given the large budget of the film. Aside from average visuals, the other key reason why the weather sequences don’t work is because all of them bar one sequence feature random people. Now I’m not going to act like I cared about the characters, but if the filmmakers wanted to create peril and tension within these sequences like they clearly tried to do. Maybe they shouldn’t put random extras at the centre of these moments of peril, why would anybody care about the person who is most likely credited as ‘Girl in bikini’ or ‘Boy with dog’ during these moments. At least put the characters you’ve tried to get us invested in, within these sequences.
Anyway I’m done here. Geostorm, a film about weather disasters is ironically a colossal disaster in itself. It’s a yawn inducing borefest that you absolutely do not need to spend your hard earned money on.
(1 Star out of 5)
Geostorm – Starring Gerard Butler, Jim Sturgess, Abbie Cornish, Ed Harris and Andy Garcia.
Directed by Dean Devlin.
Now showing in UK and US Cinemas.